January 5, 2013


I have a question...or two:

Why is the hot water tap on the left and the cold on the right?

Why are the seams in our clothes, especially socks, on the inside where they're more likely to irritate us, instead of the outside, where they're not?

Why do politicians promise and pledge things they KNOW they can't deliver; then totally ignore them after they're elected?

...And why do we keep re-electing these bozos?

Why don't food companies offer low-sodium versions of ALL their products?

...And why do they cost more even though they have less ingredients?

Do reporters really believe they're objective?

Why are instructions on prescription bottles printed so small you need a microscope to read them?

Can anybody tell me why the F-word is now acceptable in almost all venues except church?

Do people really need warnings telling them not to use a hairdryer in the shower?

And while we're on that subject...

Why would the instructions on a plumber's helper say, "Caution: Do not use near power lines?"

...or the label on a bottle of hair coloring warn against using it "as an ice cream topping?"

How come you hardly ever hear a whole song on the radio without the DJ talking over it?

And why do the people who write and make movies think they must "educate" us in their way of thinking?

...And what idiot really believes that LaLaLand and San Francisco are the centers of true American values?

Does the label on a mattress truly need to warn us not to try swallowing it?

Does a six-year-old pointing his finger at another student and saying, "Bang!" warrant his suspension from school?

...And does the entertainment industry really believe the kid was NOT influenced by something he saw on TV?

Are we so stupid, we need to be cautioned by a pepper spray label never to "aim spray at your own eyes?"

Another question that's been burning inside me: why does the warning on an Auto-Shade Windshield Visor tell us, "Do not drive with sunshade in place...?"

Why in Heaven's name would we need the label on Fix-a-Flat to tell us, "Do not weld can to rim?"

...Or a label to warn us to "not consume" Home Depot Treated Lumber?

...Or never to use a Rowenta Iron to "iron clothes on the body?"

Do not the great majority of parents KNOW to "remove infant before folding (a portable stroller) for storage?"

Why do media types insist on using every new, "trendy" phrase or word until we're absolutely sick of hearing it?

...And then using it some more?

Why can't we all just get along?



Finally, maybe I've led a sheltered life, but I can't imagine why anyone would need to be told that the hotel-provided shower cap in the box he/she is about to open "fits one head."

Got any burning questions of your own? Please, send 'em in here, and we'll discuss 'em...or cuss 'em, whichever is appropriate.

If not, maybe we'll all just dance....